Why we mistake passion and love for a relationship that is simply toxic, and how we can let go:
If you’ve ever been in a karmic or toxic relationship or are currently in one, you know the struggle of breaking free. Every time you gather the courage to move on, you’re right back in the arms of your karmic partner the following week or month.
The on and off, the breaking up to make up, the fighting to making love, the consistent verbal or physical abuse that turns into “I’m sorry and I love you”’s… a never-ending, vicious cycle. Sometimes lasting for years at a time. The feeling of relief you experience when reuniting after separation… the feeling of ecstasy you experience when the grudge and anger turns into love-making… this is often perceived as true love and passion, when it really is just an emotional addiction.
There is no denying that there is a profound love and connection present. That love and connection is what seems to keep us “loyal” and hooked onto them. And although there is a deep connection and genuine love present, the foundation of the bond is simply trauma rather than a true, authentic embodiment of love.
It is like being on an emotional roller coaster that is making you sick (mentally, physically, emotionally)… yet, you can’t seem to get off because of the thrill and strong gravitational pull towards that person.
The addictive, chaotic, emotional downs and ups become comfortable…or more so, it is severely uncomfortable when they’re absent… so you stay on the ride and become hooked.
So why is that?
Trauma can take on many forms. From living in chaotic environments growing up, to having a deeply rooted core-belief that you are unworthy.
Oftentimes, if we grew up in homes or lived lives full of chaos or instability, these emotional rollercoaster relationships full of instability IS what is normal for us… or for our subconscious mind, at least. Consciously, we are aware that this dynamic is draining, unhealthy, and completely undesirable. However, on a subconscious level, this is comfortable and normal. Chaos or inconsistency is all we really know.
Or.. let’s say we have a deeply rooted belief that we are “unworthy” or we fear being “alone”, we remain in these karmic relationships that bring us consistent anxiety and instability, simply because the bond fulfills that false core belief stored in the subconscious mind.
So if you’re trying to “let go” of a relationship that brings you more stress and anxiety, rather than love and stability, but cannot seem to break free…. It is because one must go deeper than surface level.
Recently, I have helped a client of mine finally break free from this constant back and forth battle by first and foremost, addressing the root chakra and teaching her to rebalance this energy center….
In her journey of breaking free from a karmic/toxic bond, we addressed her biggest fears and faced them head-on. Any wounds or core beliefs that suggested she was alone, abandoned, or unsafe were immediately addressed with nurture and compassion.
Moreover, I assisted her with Shadow Work and Inner Child healing. Growing up she had a parental figure who constantly belittled her, called her an “idiot”, gave her silent treatment when she didn’t perform to their expectations, etc. (Coincidentally, the partner she was in a toxic relationship with, resembled her parental figure to a T).
As we worked on healing her inner child and inner teenager through shadow work, guided meditations, and addressed any known generational trauma, she began to revert the subconscious beliefs that attracted her to toxic, unstable relationships. Moreover, she began to recognize her worth on a deeper level, which has created space for healthier relationships to enter her life and a profound strength which led her to break free from unhealthy ones.
Moreover, she learned to fulfill her own needs and fully trust in her highest self on a deeper level. This allowed her to surrender to a higher knowing and live life on her own terms – at peace; fully flourishing in her potential; no longer turning to alcohol or binge eating to cope with her emotional pain; no longer jumping from partner to partner to fill her voids; and honoring herself for the divine woman she has always been.
As we begin to restructure and strengthen the FOUNDATION we have within ourselves, we will discover that the art of letting go comes more effortless and natural. We can let go of people, expectations, resentment, and unhealthy relationships with ease, grace, and comfort when we bring our root chakra back into harmony and reclaim our god-given birthrights. Our relationship with ourselves becomes more solid, which organically attracts healthier bonds and creates infinite streams of peace from within.
This takes effort, and this takes work, considering we sometimes may have been living most of our life with the subconscious belief that we are alone, unworthy, abandoned, and/or unsafe.
Strengthening your foundation and fulfilling your needs from within, will allow you to feel light and at peace with yourself rather than heavy and drowning in your abandonment wound upon waking up in the morning. You are calm in the body rather than anxiously wondering what your partner or ex partner is doing without you, or who they may be potentially loving on. You can feel safe in your own body, feel whole and complete whether on your own or with a partner.
You will be capable of fulfilling your own needs, accept your current reality with ease, live authentically and joyously, and fully flourish into the righteous, confident, and loving being that you were destined to be.
This magnificent transformation takes dedication, and a true desire to live up to your fullest potential. In my mentorship program, I help people who are dedicated to their transformation, healing, and ascension.
I will assist you in accelerating your self-transformative process through re-balancing compromised energy centers and helping you reclaim your divine birthrights, that way you can fulfill your needs on your own and live freely. I also provide you the tools you may need (e.g., guided meditations, ACT (acceptance commitment therapy) exercises, breathing techniques, etc.) to keep you balanced and centered throughout your unique journey in reclaiming your freedom.
This transformation will allow you to go from being stuck on this “never-ending” emotional roller coaster that is making you sick (emotionally and perhaps, physically) … to flourishing in more peace, tranquility, stability, and health.
Moreover, you will go from attracting unhealthy/toxic relationships (partners, friends, bosses, etc.) …to attracting healthier, more stable relationships with people who truly value and cherish you for who you are.