Fear of Failure: An Illusory Belief

fear of failure
FEAR OF FAILURE: An illusion that is usually stemmed from a deeply rooted belief that we are unworthy.

This fear has the potential to strap our souls down in chains, holding us back from embodying our truest selves and from pursuing our truest passions.

Moreover, this fear can cause us to go onto pursuing a career and pouring our energy into a field that doesn’t align with our most authentic self. Why? Because it is something we believe we are “good at” and most likely won’t fail at… when deep down on a soul level, you know that particular career is not in alignment with your true purpose or true, authentic passions.
Oftentimes, we are aware of this knowing as much as we try to ignore it; and you may ignore it because if you pursued your gifts and talents, you may not believe you could create abundance out of it.
You believe you are incompetent. Or perhaps have some type of inner dialogue suggesting there are “other people who are better than me at this”.
The belief of: “I can’t possibly make a living off pursuing what I LOVE to do”…. “if I fail, I’ll be embarrassed, so I’ll stick with this career that I’m good at even though it’s not something I’d do for free”.
The list goes on. We allow this fear of failure to take over, leading us to live our life unfulfilled on a soul level. Why?
Because we’d rather leave that core wound of “I’m not worthy” untouched and unbothered, than dig deep and do the inner work that will set us free.
So, how can we change this in order to live in abundance and live in alignment with our most authentic self?
We dissect the root of our fear of failure and shift those beliefs into ones that are in alignment of what is true; and what is true is that we ARE worthy and competent of manifesting our dreams into reality, worthy of living our truest passions, and worthy of pursuing what we LOVE for energetic (e.g., financial) exchange.
Even if it takes time and inner work… we are most certainly worthy and competent of what our heart desires. That is our birthright.
Although everyone’s core beliefs are different, most of the time, fear of failure is stemmed from the belief that you are unworthy of blessings and miracles. These beliefs are developed in childhood and/or throughout life circumstances.
Example 1: Let’s say you “failed” at something you worked really hard for in the past. In your mind, that could’ve translated as “I am unworthy of what I work hard for” or “I’m unworthy of my blessings”.
Now it’s 10 years later and you are: pursuing a career that is safe (but not fulfilling), repressing your true passions and desires, quitting on your dreams because in your mind, you’re “not competent”, etc.
Example 2: Let’s say your parents told you something as a child repetitively or acted in a way that made you believe you were bad, unwanted, the sh** show of the family, etc. In your mind as a child or teenager, that translates as “I am unworthy of love”. (The root is still unworthiness, regardless).
Now it’s 20 years later, and you’re repressing all your god-given gifts and talents because deep down, you believe they aren’t worthy of recognition or up to par.
The list can go on, which is why it is important to dissect core beliefs that are harboring in your shadow and blossoming into this fear of failure.
This is where I begin to assist you in SHIFTING your beliefs.
We can go back to example 1… the instance in which you “failed” at something.
When we look at it from an objective perspective, we may come to realize that we gained a necessary skill in that pursuit which has assisted us tremendously in our higher calling.
Or perhaps, in the midst of pursuing that thing we “failed” at, we crossed paths with someone who is still in our lives today that we love very much.
So did we really fail? Or was it destined that we had to just go do that thing in order to hone a skill, to meet someone special, etc.
Yes, things may have not gone OUR way. But, it went the way it was supposed to in order for you to grasp what you needed, but that doesn’t mean you failed; nor, does it dictate your worth.
Example 2: We can go back to the time where our parents said or acted in a way that suggested we were unworthy of love. Looking at it from an objective perspective, we may come to recognize that they may have been dealing with their own emotional traumas or issues.
They couldn’t hold compassion for themselves in that moment due to lack of resources perhaps… leading them to project onto us. We then realize their lack of compassion or their emotional avoidance had nothing to do with our worth, but rather, their own lack of self-awareness.
When we recognize this, we then reclaim our divine birthright of being WORTHY.
This takes practice, it is not an overnight thing. However, when we begin to get the hang of Shadow Work and Inner Child healing, we then begin to dissect the beliefs that are holding us hostage and shift them into beliefs that are true. And what is TRUE for absolutely EVERYONE is that we are worthy.
You are worthy of all your heart desires. You are competent enough to pursue all of your passions and your divine purpose. Your talents and gifts are worthy of recognition and abundance.
No matter how long it takes to dig the weeds out of our minds that hold us hostage, we will find freedom.. and eventually begin to move through love and courage more often than through fear and safety.
In my 2-month Holistic Health Mentorship program, I help people with their fear of failure, amongst any others they may encounter. Through journal prompts, intuitive mentoring, guided meditations, shadow work, and inner child healing, we begin to shift beliefs they’ve been harboring for years. Beliefs that no longer serve their highest good. We shift them into ones that are true so they can live in alignment with their true, authentic, passionate selves.
This leads to a more fulfilled heart, soul, and life. It leads to them being more open to abundance and blessings. They begin to embrace and embody their heart’s REAL passions; they begin to pursue dreams that reflect their authentic nature; they start to embrace their god-given gifts and talents; and most importantly, start moving and showing up as their Highest Self, rather than unconsciously allowing their fear of failure to take driver’s seat.
The price for this offer is a respectable low four-figure investment, but my rates will go up over time.
If my energy speaks to you and you’d like to work with me, contact me and we’ll have a quick chat to see if we’re a good fit.
xo, Remi

Alcohol & Emotions (energy in motion)

drinking post
While many believe they are drinking an excessive amount of alcohol for pure pleasure, it actually may be that they are struggling to process repressed emotions. (E-motions=energy in motion).
These particular energies in motion start flowing within us which may cause us to feel heavy, uncomfortable, or stagnant (i.e, bored). So we pick up a drink in efforts to feel at ease, happy, calm, and full of vibrant energy.
There is a lack of stillness and inner peace within us, so picking up a drink to feel more present in our bodies, is usually our intention. When we do this excessively, all we are doing is repressing our undesirable emotions, only to be felt the next day at the same intensity or of higher intensity.
This is why it is common to feel either anxious, depressed, angry, heavy, fatigue, sick, etc. on a night of heavy drinking or on the following day.
I am not talking about drinking every now and then for social reasons. I am talking about drinking excessively, or drinking to suppress your emotions.
Rather than providing an operational definition for “drinking excessively” or “drinking to suppress your emotions”, in order to figure out if you fall into those categories, I’ll have you ask yourself these two questions:
 
1. “Do I drink too much?”
or
2. “Do I drink to suppress what I feel (e.g., stress, anxiety, boredom)”
If you have an inner voice within you saying “yes” to either one (regardless if your mind is trying to reject that inner truth) then, there is your answer.
Utilizing a spiritual/energetic approach, I have helped others (and myself) learn to process their emotions and feelings stored in the subconscious body in order to cut back on their drinking habits.
Based on my own personal experience… while I never had a chemical dependency on alcohol, I was indeed dependent on the substance to make me feel better.
It was my coping mechanism. Drinking 8+ drinks per week, naively believing I was just “young and having a good time”, when in reality, it was a lot deeper than that.
As years passed, I never intended to quit drinking because I didn’t even know it was a problem when it indeed, was (lol).
I say it was a problem because I was dealing with my emotions and uncomfortable feelings/thoughts in a self-sabotaging way: by drinking wine or tequila from the bottle and labeling it as “me time” or “just having fun”. 
As my passion for emotional alchemy and spiritual awareness grew, I started to set intentions to heal my emotional wounds and transmute my heavy energies into a lighter frequency.
For me, it was never about “quitting” drinking (because I was extremely unaware of my destructive habits/coping mechanisms). However, as I began to heal my childhood and relationship wounds, alcohol eventually began to fade from my experience organically and I began to resonate with it less and less.
I believe this is what happens when we learn to process our core emotional wounds and commit to bringing light into our inner darkness… Our unhealthy coping mechanisms begin to fade by default. 
I also believe when we learn to strengthen our ability to be present in the moment, we won’t always need a drink to bring more “liveliness” to the experience.
Now, it has got to a point where I do not even crave the alcohol effect or have any desire for it when I am out and about. I went from anxiously waiting to get off of work so I could pop champagne bottles to now… being very calm or “whatever” about the idea of alcohol and actually, not really resonating with it. 
What is even better, is that the process was fairly effortless, organic, and not forceful at all because I didn’t go into it with the intention to “quit drinking”. My intention was to address my emotional wounds – the core issue. 
Through Shadow Work, we can learn to dissect our emotional trauma and weed out our inner “demons” one by one. Our desire to pick up a drink in efforts to ease our anxiety or stress, fades or disappears completely. We begin to feel more cleansed and at peace in the moment when we do the inner work. 
Through Art Therapy and/or creative exercises, we can learn to sit with what we call “boredom” (i.e., stagnant energy or lack of stillness within us). Then, eventually we will stop picking up that Don Julio or Hennessey in efforts to provide joy or that “lit”/liveliness effect in our life.
Yeah, don’t get me wrong… you do, indeed, get that LIT effect when you throw that tequila back lol …but it’s all temporary and it only amplifies the stagnant energy harboring within your soul, which you will eventually have to face in due time. Utilizing our creative energies, we can learn to create a vibrant joy, peace, and liveliness from within, which is more beneficial to our physical and mental health.
Through mindfulness and grounding techniques, we can increase our ability to be fully present and engulfed in the moment. When we practice this, we won’t have to pick up a drink as often in order to silence our thoughts, or to feel a sense of stillness, enjoyment or tranquility. We will feel this way all the time without any substance!
In addition to a spiritual/energetic approach like I mentioned above, I also utilize an Applied Behavioral Analysis approach to assist my clients with their excessive alcohol intake. This includes: Fading techniques, reinforcement schedules, etc.
They go from feeling anxious or depressed upon waking up from a night of heavy drinking, to feeling more light and at peace within. They go from feeling mentally fatigue and stressed to feeling more clear-minded and energized in the body. Their days are filled with more joy, presence, light, and compassion because they are tapped into a higher frequency than before.
They eventually increase their level of overall well-being, and decrease their chances of disease and illness later in life. Moreover, their personal relationships improve as they unpack their emotional baggage and learn to cope with their emotional discomfort in a healthy way.
In my 2-month Holistic Health mentorship program, I help genuine souls who are tired of the patterns and habits that are weighing them down; and who are dedicated to their healing, ascension, and transformation.
I help them revert unhealthy behavioral habits, process their emotions, and resolve relationship conflict in order for them to feel more at ease and not need to turn to alcohol as a temporary fix.
The price for this offer is a respectable, low four-figure investment… a steal compared to the self-healing tools you will take on with you for life and the divine shift you will experience. 
If you’d like help reverting your excessive drinking habits, or any other self-sabotaging habits, in order to increase your quality of life, contact me and we will have a quick chat. If we are a good fit, we can get you started within a week.
xo,
Remi

Voids and Joy

We all have voids.. some different than others. Some deeper than others. Some of us fill them with loving the wrong people or staying in unhealthy relationships because we are afraid of being alone, ingesting unhealthy foods for the temporary release of dopamine, or binge watching shows to avoid boredom (feeling our voids). We can also find ourselves filling voids by scrolling through social media excessively in order to avoid sitting in stillness or sitting with uncomfortable emotions; or abusing substances (e.g., alcohol, marijuana) in order to suppress undesirable feelings or even to feel a sense of liveliness in our life. The list can go on. However, what would happen if we tried to fill our voids with joy instead of these temporary, detrimental fixes?

Of course, we can fill our voids with love. However, in certain instances, unconditional love may be hard to find around us or within us depending on the given space or circumstance we are in. In these instances, I find that filling the void with joy comes easier. When we feel deep sadness or anxiety, trying to love ourselves or fill our voids with self-love can be quite the task. However, joy may come easier and becomes more effortless as time goes by, as long as we practice. We can find joy by putting our favorite hoodie or shirt on as if it were our first time wearing it. We can find joy in one of our favorite songs and listen to it as if it were our first time hearing it. We can find joy in a laughing child or happy animal and share that joy with them from near or far. We can find joy in our favorite tea mug. The list can go on. As long as we make an effort into finding even the slightest amount of joy in something, whether it’s big or small, we are healing and we are filling our voids. As we do this over and over again, we fill our voids gradually, we come closer to love, and we become more full.

Author: Remi G.
Click Here for Services
Click Here for Home Page 

Generational Trauma

Before jumping into generational trauma, let’s address the definition of “trauma”. Trauma is an experience that occurs in an individual’s life that causes mental, physical, and/or emotional harm. It can be a disturbance to the individual’s life and cause one to feel a lack of control over the situation. In the mental health setting, trauma can be considered a “big T” trauma or “little t” trauma. For instance, a death of a family member would be considered a “big T” trauma and something like emotional abuse would be considered a “little t” trauma. Some people may experience multiple “little t” traumas, others may experience one “big T” trauma, and some may experience a mixture of the two. Nonetheless, both forms of trauma are valid in the way they impact an individual’s emotions, mental state, and overall well-being. A few other causes of trauma can be severe illness or injury, sexual or physical abuse, natural disasters, loss of financial income, etc. “Big T” traumas are usually life-threatening and/or associated with PTSD. These cause serious distress to the individual; and while “little t” traumas are not required to meet PTSD criteria, evidence now shows that repeated exposure to “little t” traumas (e.g., emotional abuse) can cause similar or greater distress than one “Big T” traumatic experience. In result of trauma, emotional and physical reactions occur, such as anxiety, digestive issues, lack of confidence, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, etc. In children or young adults, trauma is apparent through reactions as well (e.g., anger, frequent tummy aches, attention-seeking behaviors, consistently misbehaving at school, avoiding school, etc.).

With all of this in mind, we can now consider the term generational trauma. From a scientific lens, generational trauma, or intergenerational trauma, is transferred in between generations. A child can hold core wounds from a biological parent off of unconscious loyalty, and that parent is holding the wounds of their parent, and so forth. Generational trauma will run down one’s lineage until someone breaks the pattern. For example, emotional wounds pertaining to grief, lack of self-worth, physical disease, financial struggle, amongst others can be passed down to the child. The child will experience similar life situations that trigger these core beliefs/wounds to be felt or re-lived since they have been embedded into their DNA. The wounds and core beliefs a family hold as a unit will in result, paint its own unique family dynamic. From a spiritual standpoint, it is said that whatever our parents or ancestors experienced (e.g., racism, emotional abuse, substance abuse, relationship attachments, illness, poverty, etc.), we may also experience similar events in this lifetime. Moreover, theories suggest that until the generational “curse” is broken, it will continue to be passed down. It is said that our ancestors in heaven are guiding us through the process of healing ourselves. As we heal ourselves, we also heal our ancestors and we prevent our children/future children from going through similar “passed-down” traumas.

How can we identify generational trauma within ourselves? The answer to this is to become aware of patterns in your family. Do you see a similarity in the way you handle your emotions and the way your mother/father or grandmother/grandfather handles theirs? Do you see a pattern in the way your emotions are validated by your significant other and the way your father or mother validates their own significant other’s emotions? Perhaps you have gone through poverty, and your grandmother, and grandmother’s father experienced similar situations. It is also said that irrational fears can be due to generational trauma. Moreover, we can identify generational trauma in many ways, such as, through shadow work and through uncovering core beliefs that are deeply engrained in our subconscious mind.

The possibilities in discovering the generational trauma we hold in our DNA are endless. Through inner work, dream analysis, and self-discovery we can unpack baggage and heal core beliefs that have been passed down to us for generations. We can break these patterns for not only ourselves, but for our children or future children as well. As we discover our roots on a spiritual and psychological level, we can heal not only ourselves, but we help heal our parents and our ancestors. As we heal these core beliefs, we break generational curses within our lineage and within the entire collective, since all is connected.

Author: Remi G.
Click Here for Services
Click Here for Home Page
Sources- 
Blog: https://www.ensembletherapy.com/blog/what-is-generational-trauma
Book: "It Didn't Start With You" by Mark Wolynn

Learning to Love Yourself (Pt.1)

Many times throughout our journeys, we hear people say things along the lines of… “You need to love yourself” or “You deserve better, love yourself!”. However, the term, “love yourself” can be foreign to us if we do not actually learn how to. Depending on each individual’s journey, loving one’s self is a process and sometimes we can’t effectively love ourselves if we don’t come to know who we are first. Loving yourself and self-care is not always relaxing in a bubble bath and/or treating yourself to a pedicure/manicure. It’s getting to know your inner child and nurturing the inner you who has been hurt or who has felt neglected in the past.

Although there are many acts of self-love and self-care, one practice I find very effective is: Strengthening awareness of your thoughts (i.e., inner-dialogue) and reframing the thoughts that don’t serve your Highest Good.

There are many thoughts passing through our mind throughout the day that we don’t recognize until we actually gain self-awareness. Thoughts like, “I can’t believe I am feeling sad again, wow!”; “I’m such an idiot” (even saying this jokingly is detrimental because our spirit doesn’t know the difference); “I am difficult to deal with”; “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I’m trippin’”; “I look gross”; etc. Many of our thoughts can be existent on either a conscious or subconscious level, which is why meditation is important in order to gain awareness of those happening on a more subconscious level. These thoughts going through our head may have been engrained in our minds from past lovers, friends, parents, or we made ourselves believe these things due to certain life experiences. Gaining self-awareness of our thoughts and reframing them to ones of more kindness and compassion is a beautiful act of self-love.

It’s important to know that not all thoughts should be reframed right from the jump. For instance, there are times where a thought or form of inner-dialogue is a cry for love from our inner child or a younger version of ourselves. As we recognize these certain thoughts that don’t serve us, we can then distinguish the root of it (e.g., an emotion); then, we can do shadow work to send light to these aspects of ourselves rather than focusing on the thought right off the bat.

At times, we may even identify with our thoughts (e.g., allow them to define us, believe them to be true, get lost in them). As we stay aware of our thoughts rather than automatically identifying with them, we gain a deeper level of understanding for ourselves. In result, we learn to nurture our past selves or our inner child more effectively. We can then provide love and meet our needs that may have not been met in the past. As we practice and gain more self-love for ourselves, we then attract partners, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances that see us the way we see ourselves, and most importantly, love us the way we deserve to be loved.

Author: Remi G.
Click here for Home Page
Click here for Services

Benefits of Social Media Fasting

Just like fasting from food is beneficial for the mind and spirit, fasting from social media has similar effects. Scrolling through social media throughout the day can have numerous effects on our mind, as well as the body and spirit, since they are interrelated. Everything we read, watch, and listen to is being transmitted into our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind makes up 95% of our entire mind, which can be an issue, being that we are not conscious of what resides there.

If it were true that our physical reality (i.e., our life) is a reflection of our subconscious mind (i.e., inner reality), wouldn’t it be of major importance to protect and cleanse that aspect of ourselves? Social media is a form of energy exchange within itself. As we intake certain information, pictures, videos, dialogue, etc., we are in essence, feeding our subconscious mind (i.e., our inner reality). In addition to that, we may find ourselves unconsciously comparing our lives to others, we may develop unconscious feelings of unworthiness, etc. Even if that were not the case, we are still nonetheless immersed into another reality and exchanging a form of energy as we mindlessly scroll through our timelines. In result, this can affect our mental or spiritual energy if we are not mindful of the content we scroll through, or if we’re not mindful of how our inner energy is being used.

Taking mini or long social media breaks has been proven to increase levels of inner peace and clarity; it has also been proven to decrease levels of stress, depression, and anxiety. Through these breaks, we can gain awareness of subconscious thoughts or inner dialogue that we may have been unaware of before. As we cleanse our subconscious mind during social media fasts, we can gain clarity on certain things in our life. Moreover, we gain a greater sense of inner peace due to the simple fact that our entire Being is being cleansed, and we increase our ability to tap into our intuition much more efficiently.

-Remi G.