Voids and Joy

We all have voids.. some different than others. Some deeper than others. Some of us fill them with loving the wrong people or staying in unhealthy relationships because we are afraid of being alone, ingesting unhealthy foods for the temporary release of dopamine, or binge watching shows to avoid boredom (feeling our voids). We can also find ourselves filling voids by scrolling through social media excessively in order to avoid sitting in stillness or sitting with uncomfortable emotions; or abusing substances (e.g., alcohol, marijuana) in order to suppress undesirable feelings or even to feel a sense of liveliness in our life. The list can go on. However, what would happen if we tried to fill our voids with joy instead of these temporary, detrimental fixes?

Of course, we can fill our voids with love. However, in certain instances, unconditional love may be hard to find around us or within us depending on the given space or circumstance we are in. In these instances, I find that filling the void with joy comes easier. When we feel deep sadness or anxiety, trying to love ourselves or fill our voids with self-love can be quite the task. However, joy may come easier and becomes more effortless as time goes by, as long as we practice. We can find joy by putting our favorite hoodie or shirt on as if it were our first time wearing it. We can find joy in one of our favorite songs and listen to it as if it were our first time hearing it. We can find joy in a laughing child or happy animal and share that joy with them from near or far. We can find joy in our favorite tea mug. The list can go on. As long as we make an effort into finding even the slightest amount of joy in something, whether it’s big or small, we are healing and we are filling our voids. As we do this over and over again, we fill our voids gradually, we come closer to love, and we become more full.

Author: Remi G.
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Generational Trauma

Before jumping into generational trauma, let’s address the definition of “trauma”. Trauma is an experience that occurs in an individual’s life that causes mental, physical, and/or emotional harm. It can be a disturbance to the individual’s life and cause one to feel a lack of control over the situation. In the mental health setting, trauma can be considered a “big T” trauma or “little t” trauma. For instance, a death of a family member would be considered a “big T” trauma and something like emotional abuse would be considered a “little t” trauma. Some people may experience multiple “little t” traumas, others may experience one “big T” trauma, and some may experience a mixture of the two. Nonetheless, both forms of trauma are valid in the way they impact an individual’s emotions, mental state, and overall well-being. A few other causes of trauma can be severe illness or injury, sexual or physical abuse, natural disasters, loss of financial income, etc. “Big T” traumas are usually life-threatening and/or associated with PTSD. These cause serious distress to the individual; and while “little t” traumas are not required to meet PTSD criteria, evidence now shows that repeated exposure to “little t” traumas (e.g., emotional abuse) can cause similar or greater distress than one “Big T” traumatic experience. In result of trauma, emotional and physical reactions occur, such as anxiety, digestive issues, lack of confidence, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, etc. In children or young adults, trauma is apparent through reactions as well (e.g., anger, frequent tummy aches, attention-seeking behaviors, consistently misbehaving at school, avoiding school, etc.).

With all of this in mind, we can now consider the term generational trauma. From a scientific lens, generational trauma, or intergenerational trauma, is transferred in between generations. A child can hold core wounds from a biological parent off of unconscious loyalty, and that parent is holding the wounds of their parent, and so forth. Generational trauma will run down one’s lineage until someone breaks the pattern. For example, emotional wounds pertaining to grief, lack of self-worth, physical disease, financial struggle, amongst others can be passed down to the child. The child will experience similar life situations that trigger these core beliefs/wounds to be felt or re-lived since they have been embedded into their DNA. The wounds and core beliefs a family hold as a unit will in result, paint its own unique family dynamic. From a spiritual standpoint, it is said that whatever our parents or ancestors experienced (e.g., racism, emotional abuse, substance abuse, relationship attachments, illness, poverty, etc.), we may also experience similar events in this lifetime. Moreover, theories suggest that until the generational “curse” is broken, it will continue to be passed down. It is said that our ancestors in heaven are guiding us through the process of healing ourselves. As we heal ourselves, we also heal our ancestors and we prevent our children/future children from going through similar “passed-down” traumas.

How can we identify generational trauma within ourselves? The answer to this is to become aware of patterns in your family. Do you see a similarity in the way you handle your emotions and the way your mother/father or grandmother/grandfather handles theirs? Do you see a pattern in the way your emotions are validated by your significant other and the way your father or mother validates their own significant other’s emotions? Perhaps you have gone through poverty, and your grandmother, and grandmother’s father experienced similar situations. It is also said that irrational fears can be due to generational trauma. Moreover, we can identify generational trauma in many ways, such as, through shadow work and through uncovering core beliefs that are deeply engrained in our subconscious mind.

The possibilities in discovering the generational trauma we hold in our DNA are endless. Through inner work, dream analysis, and self-discovery we can unpack baggage and heal core beliefs that have been passed down to us for generations. We can break these patterns for not only ourselves, but for our children or future children as well. As we discover our roots on a spiritual and psychological level, we can heal not only ourselves, but we help heal our parents and our ancestors. As we heal these core beliefs, we break generational curses within our lineage and within the entire collective, since all is connected.

Author: Remi G.
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Blog: https://www.ensembletherapy.com/blog/what-is-generational-trauma
Book: "It Didn't Start With You" by Mark Wolynn

Benefits of Plant-based Eating

Healing has to be consistent with life itself. If it isn’t, then it is not healing. The components have to be from life

Dr. Sebi

In today’s society, it has become the norm to turn to Western medicine and treat our bodies with pills, vaccines, and pharmaceutical treatments in order to heal or prevent illness and disease. Although this has been the common route in today’s society for a while now, alternative medicine is starting to become more well-known, respected, and proven more effective. As Dr. Sebi stated in the quote above, in order to heal our bodies from disease (i.e., dis-ease) and in order to prevent dis-ease, we must treat our bodies in the most natural way possible so that it is congruent with life itself. Treating our bodies with man-made foods is inconsistent with what is known to be life and true health. Our bodies are capable of healing themselves when we feed it the appropriate nutrients and vitamins, and eliminate foods and pills that do not come from a natural source. Feeding ourselves animal-based foods, acidic and processed foods, and a low alkaline level diet can cause dis-ease and dis-comfort in the body, whether mildly (e.g., a cold/cough, allergies, body pains) or severely (e.g., diabetes, autoimmune disease). Why are we not typically informed about this; or why is the concept that we can heal the body and cure disease by diet and nutrition, not widely spread?

A society that keeps cures a secret so they can continue to sell medication for huge profits is not a real society but a huge mental asylum.

Dr. Sebi

Plant-based foods include vegetables, fruits, whole grains, tubers (e.g., sweet potato, beets), and legumes. Plant-based diets have been proven to lower cholesterol, reverse and prevent illness and disease (e.g., heart disease, MS, etc.), reverse or lower risk of cancer, improve or cure inflammatory arthritis, increase energy, improve sleep, and much more. A diet full of animal-based products and processed foods contain many hormones, parasites, and chemicals that disrupt the harmonious flow our body is meant to obtain. A plant-based diet not only holds many physical benefits, but a variety of mental/emotional benefits as well. Plant-based eating increases mental clarity, increases intuitive abilities, eases anxiety/depression, and cleanses the entire emotional and spiritual body as a whole.

Forks Over Knives (Netflix documentary) asserts, “A diet high in animal-based and highly processed foods makes people sick and overweight. But many of these sicknesses can be prevented, halted, and often reversed by eating a whole-food, plant-based diet.”

Transitioning to a plant-based diet when you’ve been accustomed to acidic foods for most of your life can be a difficult route. Although the way we eat is often habitual and an accustomed lifestyle developed over time, it is also very common that we crave certain foods for mental stimulation (e.g., stress-eating, boredom). If this were the case, taking care of emotional imbalances (e.g., anxiety, depression) first, allows the transition to a healthier diet for our physical health to come easier. Utilizing goal-setting and motivation techniques can also make this transition smoother. Moreover, transitioning to a plant-based diet through fading techniques with the help of a coach who is competent in behavioral analysis, can make diet change very easy and effortless. As we take care of all aspects of our being (i.e., mental, physical, emotional, spiritual), we not only prevent and/or cure dis-ease and physical imbalances, but we also experience an overall increase in quality of life.

Author: Remi G.
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Learning to Love Yourself (Pt.1)

Many times throughout our journeys, we hear people say things along the lines of… “You need to love yourself” or “You deserve better, love yourself!”. However, the term, “love yourself” can be foreign to us if we do not actually learn how to. Depending on each individual’s journey, loving one’s self is a process and sometimes we can’t effectively love ourselves if we don’t come to know who we are first. Loving yourself and self-care is not always relaxing in a bubble bath and/or treating yourself to a pedicure/manicure. It’s getting to know your inner child and nurturing the inner you who has been hurt or who has felt neglected in the past.

Although there are many acts of self-love and self-care, one practice I find very effective is: Strengthening awareness of your thoughts (i.e., inner-dialogue) and reframing the thoughts that don’t serve your Highest Good.

There are many thoughts passing through our mind throughout the day that we don’t recognize until we actually gain self-awareness. Thoughts like, “I can’t believe I am feeling sad again, wow!”; “I’m such an idiot” (even saying this jokingly is detrimental because our spirit doesn’t know the difference); “I am difficult to deal with”; “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I’m trippin’”; “I look gross”; etc. Many of our thoughts can be existent on either a conscious or subconscious level, which is why meditation is important in order to gain awareness of those happening on a more subconscious level. These thoughts going through our head may have been engrained in our minds from past lovers, friends, parents, or we made ourselves believe these things due to certain life experiences. Gaining self-awareness of our thoughts and reframing them to ones of more kindness and compassion is a beautiful act of self-love.

It’s important to know that not all thoughts should be reframed right from the jump. For instance, there are times where a thought or form of inner-dialogue is a cry for love from our inner child or a younger version of ourselves. As we recognize these certain thoughts that don’t serve us, we can then distinguish the root of it (e.g., an emotion); then, we can do shadow work to send light to these aspects of ourselves rather than focusing on the thought right off the bat.

At times, we may even identify with our thoughts (e.g., allow them to define us, believe them to be true, get lost in them). As we stay aware of our thoughts rather than automatically identifying with them, we gain a deeper level of understanding for ourselves. In result, we learn to nurture our past selves or our inner child more effectively. We can then provide love and meet our needs that may have not been met in the past. As we practice and gain more self-love for ourselves, we then attract partners, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances that see us the way we see ourselves, and most importantly, love us the way we deserve to be loved.

Author: Remi G.
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Benefits of Social Media Fasting

Just like fasting from food is beneficial for the mind and spirit, fasting from social media has similar effects. Scrolling through social media throughout the day can have numerous effects on our mind, as well as the body and spirit, since they are interrelated. Everything we read, watch, and listen to is being transmitted into our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind makes up 95% of our entire mind, which can be an issue, being that we are not conscious of what resides there.

If it were true that our physical reality (i.e., our life) is a reflection of our subconscious mind (i.e., inner reality), wouldn’t it be of major importance to protect and cleanse that aspect of ourselves? Social media is a form of energy exchange within itself. As we intake certain information, pictures, videos, dialogue, etc., we are in essence, feeding our subconscious mind (i.e., our inner reality). In addition to that, we may find ourselves unconsciously comparing our lives to others, we may develop unconscious feelings of unworthiness, etc. Even if that were not the case, we are still nonetheless immersed into another reality and exchanging a form of energy as we mindlessly scroll through our timelines. In result, this can affect our mental or spiritual energy if we are not mindful of the content we scroll through, or if we’re not mindful of how our inner energy is being used.

Taking mini or long social media breaks has been proven to increase levels of inner peace and clarity; it has also been proven to decrease levels of stress, depression, and anxiety. Through these breaks, we can gain awareness of subconscious thoughts or inner dialogue that we may have been unaware of before. As we cleanse our subconscious mind during social media fasts, we can gain clarity on certain things in our life. Moreover, we gain a greater sense of inner peace due to the simple fact that our entire Being is being cleansed, and we increase our ability to tap into our intuition much more efficiently.

-Remi G.

Co-dependency vs. Love

Are you in love or in a karmic bond? Are you or were you in a solid relationship, or in a co-dependent bond? A lot of times we hurt and we crave a former lover assuming it was a true, genuine, and authentic love we just lost. Which it may have been, to a certain extent, but was that what it was at the root of it all? After healing our deepest wounds that stem from childhood or from our parents/ancestors, we may come to realize that what we thought was true love with our partner, was in fact, not an authentic, true love at all. It was more so attachment, co-dependency, fears, and/or a karmic bond wrapped in one. Of course, we may inevitably have deep care and love for that person. However, were we really IN love or in a true/authentic loving bond?

True love is effortless. It does not grip and hold the other tight for its own possession or selfish desires. It does not lie, fear, judge, or betray. True love is friendship. True love is safe, grounding, and free. You feel safe to be vulnerable, you feel safe to be yourself in your rawest form, and your heart space feels free. True love comes with honesty from both parties and in result, creates an everlasting, deep, undeniable trust. It is patient and it is kind. There is no belittling, there is no shame, and there are no efforts in attempting to change your partner to your liking. You appreciate and love them for all that they are. You are not focused on what they are or aren’t doing for you, but rather, you appreciate them for simply being and being able to experience their existence.

Now, of course, we may find true love and our fears from the past may interfere or come to the surface throughout the relationship. However, at the root of it all, it is not fear-based emotions or emotional trauma that is holding or binding the two individuals together (consciously or unconsciously). Sometimes our fears and co-dependency can be so loud and prominent that we can easily confuse it with real love. Being able to discern the difference comes with experience, wisdom, self-love, and taking the time to heal our core emotional wounds.

Are you truly missing the person, or are you missing the void they filled for you? Are you heartbroken mainly because they are out of your life, or did the separation between you two just trigger your fear of abandonment? Are you upset with the idea of them having eyes for someone else, or are you deep down, unconsciously questioning your worth? Are you genuinely, whole-heartedly in love with them, or are they just fulfilling something for you that you have not learned how to fulfill for yourself?

Thich Nhat Hanh – True Love

-Remi G.

The Dark/Shadow Side

What is the Shadow Self? What is our darkness, exactly? A lot of us define this as our insecurities, our triggers, our inner demons, our ego, etc. Psychologist, Carl Jung, defines this concept as the unknown or unconscious aspect of our personality. I’ve noticed a lot of people are naturally programmed to reject this side of ourselves for various reasons, but in my opinion, that is possibly the worst thing you can do for yourself. Whatever you define your Shadow Self as, I encourage you to embrace that side of you, rather than reject or despise it. You may ask, “How do I know what my dark side is?” There are various ways to identify it. Sometimes you’ll discover it through meditation and deep self-discovery. Sometimes you will notice your shadow erupt during a very minor or severe argument, disagreement, comment, specific scenario, etc. We can sometimes come to know our shadow self when we find ourselves judging others or when we feel an irritation towards someone’s actions/beliefs. Although our feelings and emotions that flare up during a specific trigger may sometimes appear insignificant, they actually hold immense value and deeper truths about yourself.

The dark side or your shadow self can be the side of you that wants to scream in anger or despair. It can be the side of you that acts out almost like a child when you are emotionally triggered by someone or something. It is the pain or discomfort underneath our emotional dysregulation; and if we dig deep enough underneath that pain, we will discover the root or source of it all. Let it be known that there is no such thing as spiritual ascendance without addressing both the light and dark. Moreover, there is no such thing as elevating in your relationships, career, and self-growth journey without addressing your shadow self. As we come to understand where our anxiety, depression, and/or anger is stemmed from, we are then capable of gaining a deeper understanding of our Shadow Self, or unconscious side of ourselves. However, before seeing or understanding where it is rooted from, we must gain awareness. If you have no self-awareness of your emotions, thoughts, actions, or feelings, how can you heal or ascend? Awareness comes first. Healing and/or spiritual elevation follows.

Our dark side is not inherently bad or good… it just is. It is the unconscious or suppressed side of ourselves and with no awareness of this aspect, there is no true growth or self-discovery. As we gain this deeper understanding of ourselves, we can then learn how to nurture, love, trust, and listen to ourselves appropriately and more compassionately. When we learn how to love, nurture, and embrace our own wounds, we will then learn how to nurture the shadow side of others as well with no judgement and with pure love.

As we increase our ability in seeing through emotional triggers by understanding that it is simply pain buried underneath veils of illusion, we can then learn how to transcend it appropriately with pure compassion and light. We cannot fight our darkness. It will get louder. We cannot push it to the side hoping it will disappear. It will roll back over. If we wanted to see better in a dark room, we would turn the light on. It is the same thing with our soul, our emotional body, or our conscious Being. We learn how to find the light and we learn how to nurture the shadow side of ourselves that was restricted from authentic love at one point in our life or for our whole life. In result, we heal, we see, we know, and we transcend into a deeper level of peace and higher level of consciousness/being.

Written by,
Remi G.